Scrubs - Musical

What I WISH would happen in hospital each day.

Medical TV

Every once in a while, a non-medical person will enquire:

"So is being an intern/resident really like on E.R./Scrubs/Grey's Anatomy?"

Hahahaha! "You have NO idea!"

Whilst of course the working life of a doctor is not all fun and games and often a lot of paperwork (which doesn't make for good TV), there are often a lot of truth in these depictions of medical life.

The constant jokes about bodily fluids/products/organs, the larger than life personalities, the lack of social skills all stem from a dark reality hidden behind the facade of the blue scrubs.

Medical types are usually quite bright and so where there are doctor's there is humour to be found. Those bizarre topics of conversation on Scrubs? Here's one of my own form the other night in ICU:

"So did you see that guy on the news? He got half eaten by a shark!"
"Which half? Like how do you get half eaten by a shark?"

"Obviously its the top half that's left... cos you can do without the bottom half!"
"Can you? How much of your body could you have eaten off and still survive?"
"That's a good question.. like you'd need heart and lungs and brain... but I guess you could do without legs and reproductive organs.."
"And you could get rid of your kidneys and go on dialysis?"
"Good point... and you only need a sliver of liver... so we can scrap half of that... and maybe get rid of the bowel/GIT and use TPN feeding?"
"Yeah... I wonder which half of that guy is left... I hope he has some liver..."
"Yeah me too"

Sometimes I feel like I'm on TV... kinda like the Truman show. And as night shifts go on into the dark hours before dawn... the conversation get more and more bizarre.

However I must say the following video below really sums up what I feel like doing one day in the Zoo.

Enjoy!

Not-So-Intensive Care Unit

Good morning blog-readers and welcome to the new and improved Dr J!
2 weeks of annual leave have left me a new man; "full of happy thoughts... all the time!"*

In a quirky twist of fate (and a lot of manipulating via multiple phone calls almost bordering on harassment) I ended up doing a 4 way term swap which means instead of being thrust back into ED, I found myself arriving back to The Zoo on night shift in cardiothoracic intensive care (CTICU).

When I found out I would be covering CTICU on nights by myself I kinda panicked! I had done a total of 2 days ICU as a student and learnt nothing from it. I didn't know what the beeping noises or tubes did. I had never done cardiothoracics either and didn't know what a LIMA or IABP** were.

When I arrived I found a big trolley with a drape over it parked next to my patients. It read "Open heart trolley - Emergency Only". Not a good sign! I found the CTICU fellow, a rather nice British doctor who quickly allayed my fears.

"Have you ever done ICU before?" I sheepishly shook my head.

"Sorry, yesterday I was an intern, today I'm a resident"
"That's a bit rough... no worries, how about I sit down with you and I'll teach you in one hour everything you need to know about CTICU"

One hour later I felt comfortable enough to handle anything life threatening and actually understood PEEP, PAP, SVRI, CI, MAP and how to handle inotropes in patients who'd had open heart surgery.

Armed with dobutamine, noradrenaline and a set of the best nurses in the hospital, I felt well armed to deal with anything urgent that may arise during the night. As the fellow left, I was ready to keep these people alive until morning.

5 minutes after the boss left, the nurses looked at me strangely, "You DO know there's a room for the resident to sleep in overnight don't you?"

I looked kinda puzzled... what resident? Oh that's right... I'm no longer an intern!

The nurse in charge took me up to the cardiology department and showed me a small room tucked away with "Staff Only" printed on the doorway. Inside was a lavish bedroom with a nice freshly made bed and an ensuite with shower. Who said taxpayer's money was poorly spent?

6 hours later I awoke. It was half an hour till handover time so I scurried back to CTICU to print out morning blood results and tidy things up. The morning resident appeared right on time and I was home in bed soon after.

Getting paid to sleep. This is the life!

3 nights later it's a similar picture. Sleeping 6 hours average per shift and getting paid to do so. Tonight we might not even HAVE any patients left in the unit.

And so begins PGY2... after this week I get a 'week off' to compensate. This term I will end up working a total of 5 weeks due to working nights. 5 weeks off! And none of them annual leave!

Welcome to residency!

* "Kung Pow - Enter the Fist"
** Left internal mammary artery and Intra-aortic balloon pump

Holidays

The sun is filtering thru my window. The kids next door are playing in their pool. The birds are calling to each other. The planes are flying overhead.

This is the life.

A well earned break and what am I doing? Sitting around in Sydney!

To be honest, it's actually a perfect start to the clinical year. Lazy summer days and plenty of sleep. A beach trip yesterday to check out the 'scenery'. A shopping expedition with the ex-wife. A movie in the evening. A book to read whilst having a bath (ok, it's a drought.. but once in 6 months isn't that bad).

Plans to watch the tennis tomorrow, catch up with some friends, eat good food.

Little things that remind me I am still a human (and thankfully no longer an intern).

Maybe I should learn how to ride a horse so I can meet lovely ladies like the one in the picture?