Personality

The other night at City Extra a bunch of us decided to go online (as they had free WiFi) and do one of those lame personality tests.
Can't say I've ever given much credibility to them before until I read some of my friend's ones and realised they were fairly good assessments. And so apparently I have been labelled an "ENFP - Extroverted/Intuitive/Feeling/Perceptive ("The Inspirers")"

"As an ENFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system.

ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.

ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. They are good at most things which interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.

An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values. ENFPs who remain centered will usually be quite successful at their endeavors. Others may fall into the habit of dropping a project when they become excited about a new possibility, and thus they never achieve the great accomplishments which they are capable of achieving.

Most ENFPs have great people skills. They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships. ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. Sometimes, especially at a younger age, an ENFP will tend to be "gushy" and insincere, and generally "overdo" in an effort to win acceptance. However, once an ENFP has learned to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance, they excel at bringing out the best in others, and are typically well-liked. They have an exceptional ability to intuitively understand a person after a very short period of time, and use their intuition and flexibility to relate to others on their own level.
Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivous to these types of concerns. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members.

An ENFP who has "gone wrong" may be quite manipulative - and very good it. The gift of gab which they are blessed with makes it naturally easy for them to get what they want. Most ENFPs will not abuse their abilities, because that would not jive with their value systems.

ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person or situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.

ENFPs who have not learned to follow through may have a difficult time remaining happy in marital relationships. Always seeing the possibilities of what could be, they may become bored with what actually is. The strong sense of values will keep many ENFPs dedicated to their relationships. However, ENFPs like a little excitement in their lives, and are best matched with individuals who are comfortable with change and new experiences.

Having an ENFP parent can be a fun-filled experience, but may be stressful at times for children with strong Sensing or Judging tendancies. Such children may see the ENFP parent as inconsistent and difficult to understand, as the children are pulled along in the whirlwind life of the ENFP. Sometimes the ENFP will want to be their child's best friend, and at other times they will play the parental authoritarian. But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.

ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing.

Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.

ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through. "

What do you guys think?

Deal or No Deal?

Today finally switched our internet plan over. Every month we've been running out of data limit about 2/3 of the way through and been stuck on slower than dial up speeds for the reaming 10 days. It kinda got annoying and so we upgraded to a bigger plan with roughly 50% more data download to keep Youtube fully functional. I was expecting to pay another $30 but it turned out to only cost us $5 more. I was kinda puzzled until the Indian call operator explained why. "Well sir, the plan you now have is our new plan, but beforehand you had your phone bundled with us and we gave you 100 free local calls to the value of $30 and now you get the extra data for $5 but lose the 100 free local calls" He then proceeded to ask me what the weather was like outside as he fumbled through his computer system trying to work out what button to press to fix my internet. "Um it's been raining?" "How long for sir?" "Um since I WOKE UP????" (kinda becoming a bit too intrusive in his bid to avoid awkward silence over the phone and impress his boss)So now we have full speed internet. But in order to gain that I have had to sacrifice our free local calls. But I calculated we only spent $2.30 last month on that so we really gain more with the internet. It's a matter of weighing up the options and making a trade-off.

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Been watching more Death Note tonight. Now a blonde female character has been introduced who falls deeply in love with the evil killer (aww how sweet!). She too gets his killing powers but she wants more. She wants ot be more powerful and have the 'shinigami' (death god) eyes which will enable her to kill anyone. But in return for this power, she must trade half of her remaining life span in order to win her 'love' over with her new powers. She weighs it up and decides her new boyf is worth giving up half of her remaining years and makes a rather important trade-off (if only she knew what was around the corner! Ah Misa!)

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Life is about trade-offs. We think the toil of studying hard at uni is worth it to get the job we want. We think the pain of slaving away at our job is a worthwhile trade-off to ensure we get the nice big house with the dog and 2 kids we want. We think the time we spend away from our family is a fair trade-off in order to 'have' a family. Sometimes we make good trade-offs (like better internet) and sometimes we make bad ones (like selling your life for power or love). Are our trade-offs worth it? Or have we blindly entered into them without evaluating where we are going?

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose" - Jim Elliot (murdered missionary to Ecuador, aged 29)

Death Note/Nite

Thanks to my Japanese flatmate, I have recently become hooked on a manga-turned-anime series called "Death Note". Thankfully Youtube have put English translated episodes up online so I can keep up to date and not have to bother my flatmate for a word by word translation.

The premise of the show is that a young man (Light Yagami) falls into possession of a notebook with supernatural powers. Whenever he writes someone's name in the book, they die of a heart attack. This notebook is known as a "Death Note" which belongs to the death 'gods' of Japan (the Shinigami) who usually use these books to rid the world of people when their time is up. However, Light-kun decides he can do a better job and decides to altruistically rid the world of all the bad or undesirables. The rest of the world soon notices that the crims are being bumped off at an alarming rate and start to panic. And so along comes 'L', the mysterious international detective whose job it is to outwit and discover the true identity of the killer now nicknamed "Kira". It's a psychological thriller and very well thought out. Each week I can't wait to hear the theme song and get my next installment. The psychology of death and dying.

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It was a night shift just like any other. The week of ward nights had so far been a dream run. Averaged about 2-3 hours of sleep interuptted only by phone orders for fluids and sleepers. Dr Z had commented how it was her 'calming effect' on the wards which made it thus. I laughed. And so began the Friday night shift. The beginning of an 3 day weekend (due to hospital days off). The night started with a constant stream of pages asking me to come and review people who weren't doing too well. Someone in pulmonary oedema, a Down's Syndrome guy who needed venous access but wasn't gonna let me anywhere near him with a needle. The usual kinda stuff that fills night shift.

And so as I was pinning down this guys forearm to pop in the cannula, I heard the nurse next door spurt out, "Um doctor... I don't think this lady's breathing anymore."
Argh!"Well do you wanna call a Code Blue for me then!!!!" (Frustration at nurses lack of initiative quite evdient in tone of voice)

Ok J... remember ABC.... ABC! (I told myself again and again)"Can someone get me a bag and mask! And the crash trolly while you're at it!" (just in case they didn't realise we'd need one - can never assume they'll 'get it')
Airway - Guedels airway inserted.
Breathing - bag and asmk commenced and handed over to nurse.
Circulation - pulseless in the carotids - CPR commenced

I put my hands on this 90 yr old ladies chest and with the first chest compression felt the CRUNCH as all her osteoporotic ribs shattered under the weight of my body. I started furiously pumping away, praying that the arrest team would arrive soon.

Thankfully before the first minute had elapsed they were on site with paddles and drugs and I was relegated from team leader to chest compression boy and let the registrars play with atropine, adrenaline and DC shocks.

But it was too late. She had been gone for too long. She was dead.
I had given her the best possible chance I could... but sometimes that's just not enough.

And so I wrote the first Death Note of the night as my registrar called up her husband to inform him of his wife's 'passing awayy. Turns out she lived 4 houeses down the road on my street. She probably walked past my house during the day on her way to the shops.

The ink has just dried on the Death Certificate, when the pager beeped. It was the surgical ward. "Sorry Dr J, we just need to to come and declare a patient dead." I went down and began the same process of 'declaring' death on this patient with a known leaking Triple A. And no sooner had I finished that one then another page... with another death.

By the time that shift finished, within 24 hours, I had declared 5 people dead. My own 'Death Note' episode, except that I was writing their names on paper retrospectively.

NB - this was a post I wrote in the past month that I was unable to publish due to internet problems, so it occurred about 4 weeks ago (sorry for the delay - but better late than never)

How to Save a Life

"Every night around the nation, a small but dedicated group of young men and women leave their homes as the country is engulfed in nightfall and begin their journeys. They are our sons, our daughters, our brothers and sisters. They are the Night doctors of the public health system and this is their story...

Dr J is a 24 yr old resident doctor at The Zoo. Like many other of his colleagues, he has just completed his internship and is currently undertaking his set of ward nights where he will be placed in charge of half of a major tertiary referral centre between the hours of 10:30pm and 8:30am. During the day the hospital is teeming with hundreds of doctors but at night it is just him, the intern covering the other wards and one medical registrar running the wards.

His night begins with a call from the renal ward. They have a patient who was recently transferred out of ICU who needs some attention. He has had a major bleed inside his brain and is now complaining of a headache similar to the previous bleeding. However before our young doctor can asses this man, he is called away to the cardiothoracic ward where a post-operative patient is having an abnormal heart rhythm.

Whilst giving the nurses on the wards further instructions on how to control this mans heart rhythm, Dr J is again called, this time by the cardiology ward to assess a patient who is bleeding profusely.

When he arrives he learns that this man has dementia and today has had a pacemaker inserted into his chest. Dr J carefully peels back the dressing to find that the wound has actually re-opened up and this patient is actively bleeding.

[cut to ad break]

"Welcome back to our look into the lives of young night doctors and their trials and tribulations. When we left our young Dr J, he was trying to save his patient from bleeding to death by applying prssure to his wound, however after 30 minutes the wound is still bleeding and it looks like he will have to take more definitive action
[cue dramatic music]
Dr J has run down to the Emergency Department and gotten hold of some suturing kits to stitch up the wound to stop the bleeding. With careful precision we cleans the bleeding and pulls the open wound together and immeadiately the bleeding stops. Another great save by Dr J. But before he has time to bask in the satisfaction of helping another patient he is whisked off to see another surgical patient who might have a clot in her lungs..."

You'll have to excuse my bad homage to RPA style TV shows... but ward nights have been rough. Compunded by the fact that when the cardiology morning nurses found out I'd stitched up a bleeding pacemaker site the conversation went a little south:
"Um Dr J, you did call the cardiology registrar before you stitched him up didn't you?"
"Um no..."
"Please tell me you asked the med reg first then?"
"Ahhh. no?"
"[Expletives that can't be repeated] Oh no! Dr Cardiology-boss is gonna freak out! He only ever uses pressure to sto the bleeding... he NEVER stitches them up! He's gonna go nuts!"

You kinda feel like you're helping people and doing your job well and then you get a nice big kick in the head to remind you that you're still just a resident and belong at the bottom of the pecking order. I can understand if this boss was annoyed with me cos I did something dangerous, but the fact is that this patient was bleeding and I did what many other doctors would have done... just not to his preference.

The politics of hospital make this job SO worthwhile... only 9 months to go!