The New Adventures of Dr Dolittle & Dr Donothing*

Once upon a time in a place far far away called Whoop Whoop there lived two intern doctors. They were not of Whoop Whoop although one of them wished she was. Her name was Dr Dolittle and she worked at the local hospital with Dr Donothing at the local hospital. In her former mispent youth, she had been a hippie and bided her time dancing in the meadows and learning about the sustainable creation of vegetation.

However over the years, times had changed and she had been squashed into the mould of a public hospital system that showed little regard for her care-free dreams.

Her friend was Dr Donothing, a name given to him by former psychiatric inpatients who devalued his worth and mocked him daily. yet despite the constant taunts he remained optimistic; for he too had a secret ambition: to be a indie-pop rock star.

Whilst many medical students spent their free time cramming the causes of proximal myopathies into their brains, he had ventured into the brave new world of music and sought his fame in a band whose name cannot be repeated due to this blog being G-rated.

They had both been banished from their castle known as The Zoo and sent many days travel by horse to work in the cold dungeons of Whoop Whoop. Along their travels they teamed up with Dr J, another disgruntled Doogie-Howser wannabe and set forth to rule their new roost and enter into battle against the evil forces of disease and medical administration.

Twas not long before they met their first foe, an evil overlord named Admin Man whose sole quest in life seemed to be the destruction and oppression of these young sojourners. He denied them overtime pay and made them go through a number of deadly quests in order to achieve financial renumeration. He then beset upon them a plague of overtime shifts designed to break all but the brave.

On different days the JMOs would face up to their fears and with pager in one hand and stethescope in the other, slaying the hordes of nurses as them lunged at them with nagging voices. Blood pressures would come crashing down, but the doctors were now too wise for such things and would counteract this move with their own magic fluid bolus. The nurses would throw medication charts and the mighty pen of these brave souls would demolish their attack. Chest pain stood no chance against nitrates being administered in tri-route fashion (s/l, IV and top).

And so day by day the doctors overcame their fears, they overcame rather than being overcome. The nagging did not cease, the incessant paging would not desist and yet they would laugh it all off over a pint at the local Irish pub.

And so after a long and fearsome battle they all found themselves in a little haven away from Whoop Whoop. A village nearby where they could salve their wounds, eat brunch in their own pace (void of the pager beep) and whinge about nursing ineptitude.

And so they lived to fight another day... their stories have just begun.

* I'm serious, they have called themselves this... it's brilliant!